January 23, 2018 HeSpeaksVolumes

Stop doing permanent things with temporary people

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People enter our lives at different times and settings.

Most of us have heard the saying that people enter your life for a season or a reason. Most of the time this is true, and we embrace the folks that make countless appearances in our daily lives.

The issue is we hold onto people past their intended expiration date in our lives. We see the signs and may even complain about it to our peers, yet we still hold onto that sorry excuse for a relationship.
What we do not do is invest too much in people who do not deserve it, unless the heart is involved.
When it comes to business, we more than likely try to take more than we give. In business, if it is not beneficial to us, most people lose interest rapidly. If you knew terrible things about someone’s business ethics and practices, you would probably cancel all meetings and find someone else with better business practices.

In friendships, we call people by different titles based on the level of trust and history. An unworthy individual will at most likely become an associate or just someone we know. That coveted best friend tag is for deserving friends that have exemplified great examples of friendship according to the title giver. If one of our friends breaks our trust, we will “cut them off” with the quickness.

When it comes to matters of the heart we tend to cut more slack, we tend to allow more and accept treatment that in any other relationship we would not. It can come down to our feelings about ourselves if you are not 100% happy with yourself how can anyone else know how to treat you? Loving yourself is the first step into a comfortable place when dealing with relationships with other people.

We have all had that one friend that does nothing but complain about their partner, yet they have never ended the relationship and never placed any distance between themselves and the sworn enemy they share a bed with to make us believe anything they say about their relationship.

You want your relationship to end because you are not happy or you are tired of the lack of respect your partner has been dishing in your direction.

You want more but keep getting less and less because you tolerate it. You teach people how to treat you by what you allow.

In the midst of this dead-end relationship that you say you want out of, you are planning on buying a home together or making some other drastic life-changing event with someone you “say” you do not want to be with.

You must stop doing permanent things with temporary people.

Looking in the mirror, knowing the relationship is toxic, yet you push forward trying to salvage something that you labeled dead. Constant venting and complaining to your inner circle of friends and even strangers who will listen to your laundry list of problems, only to have their advice go in one ear and out the other. To go from venting about how messed up your current matters of the heart are, to a discussion about a piece of property the two of you plan on buying is not only disrespectful to you but disrespectful to the people who must listen to your bipolar vent session. Stop being selfish and rude wasting your friends time if you are going to stay after countless hours of tears and complaints. No one has time for that and people will eventually not want to listen to you vent anymore.

If you are unhappy with your relationship, don’t add any more binding contracts to this person that makes you sick or miserable.

Trying to create lasting memories alongside a person that you have not had one beautiful thing to say about in months is beyond crazy.

You are holding onto a relationship that you want out of because you do not love yourself enough to walk away.
Maybe you cannot afford to walk away, and that is what is keeping you locked in.
Maybe it is the children that are keeping you in this relationship, who knows. What is known is that you are doing permanent things with temporary people.

Here’s some advice:
-Buy that house alone, until you receive that commitment you are yearning for from your partner.

-Start that business alone, until your spouse comes to the table with the same energy you do.

-Open that joint account, when the two of you are on the same level.

-Stop giving the world to someone who is only giving you hell and if you continue to take the treatment, just keep it to yourself because your friends have already heard the thirty different ways you were going to leave him last year.